Dogs

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of the door.
Charlton Ogburn, Jr.

A dog’s parents never visit.
Anonymous, why some men have dogs and not wives

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
Dave Barry

Better Than Gold
Our father never criticized us growing up. Instead, he used praise to bring out the best in us. He used to say: “If you pour water on flowers, they flourish. If you don’t give them water they die.”
Richard Branson

Golf

A pretty girl will always have the toughest time learning to play golf, because every man wants to give her lessons.
Harvey Penick

Never carry more clubs than you can afford to break.
John Corcoran

Hell: Home of the most magnificent golf course you’ve ever seen, complete with top line pro clubs, all gratis. But not a single golf ball.
Martin Ragaway

Better Than Gold
I loved my father – always deep in my subconscious I have referred judgments back to him, what he would have thought or done.
Edward Fitzgerald

Coaches

If you’re a pro coach, NFL stands for “Not For Long.”
Jerry Glanville

There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than everybody else: build a fire, run a motel and manage a baseball team.
Rocky Bridges

It worries me that there’s supposed to be two coaches meaner than I am. I would hate to have them start referring to me as “Good Old Woody.”
Woody Hayes

Better Than Gold
Every plan may not be flawless and may require adjustments as you go along, but even the weakest plan forces the planner to prepare. And when you prepare you will be better able to handle the inevitable and unforeseeable bumps on the road toward your goal.
T.D. Jakes

Appearance

My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes. I particularly like the blue one.
Harry Scott

Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words “large” or “size” with “rear end.” Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
Tim Allen

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld

Better Than Gold
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle

Conversation

Backward, turn backward, O Time in thy flight,
Just thought of a comeback I needed last night.
Les Dawson

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.
Anonymous

Better Than Gold
Every morning I write down my goals for the day. This becomes my plan. And although it certainly can be altered as events occur, it provides my working outline. Just as you need a plan in life, you also need one for each day, each week, each month, each year. That’s the only way you logically can progress toward your long-term goals.
Rick Pitino

Dating

If you call a girl once and she doesn’t return your call, it’s possible that she never got the message. However, if you call a girl fifty-one times and she still hasn’t called you back, it’s you who hasn’t gotten the message.
J. Chris Newberg

The time had come to get rid of Henry at any cost. So I decided that the thing that discourages gentlemen more than anything else is shopping.
Anita Loos

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for the second date.
Anonymous, Mike, 10, when asked what most people do on a date

Better Than Gold
No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
Calvin Coolidge

Work

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost

Wood burns faster when you cut and chopped it yourself.
Harrison Ford

You know you’re a workaholic when you’re making a phone call from home, you hit “9” to get out.
Dennis Miller

Better Than Gold
The great thing, and the hard thing, is to stick to things when you have outlived the first interest, and not yet got the second, which comes with a sort of mastery.
Janet Stuart