Forecasts

Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read old five-year projections.
Malcolm Forbes

There are two sorts of forecasters. Those who don’t know and those who don’t know they don’t know.
John Kenneth Galbraith

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as nutty methods. Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as a complete waste of time.
Scott Adams

Better Than Gold
Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a release from whatever other cares the day may bring.
Jimmy Carter

Cars

The louder the car alarm, the more likely everyone but the owner will hear it.
Anonymous

Pedestrian: A person who can’t find the place where he parked his car.
Anonymous

What is happening when you hear varoom . . . screech, varoom . . . screech, varoom . . . screech? A moron is trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light.
Anonymous

Better Than Gold
I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
Abraham Lincoln

Fathers

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

Pas de deux: father of twins.
Coup de grace: lawnmower.
Anonymous

When you want to do something and you’re not sure your dad will let you, ask him while he’s asleep.
Anonymous, age 11

Better Than Gold
Your kids must take responsibility for their actions, their choices and ultimately for their lives. How do you teach them to do these things? Set a good example. Don’t blame your parents for your problems, the economy for your debts, bad teachers for your children’s shaky academic performance, your spouse for your unhappiness or an insensitive boss for your stalled career.
Elaine St. James

Money

Inflation: What used to cost 20 dollars to buy now costs 40 dollars to repair.
Anonymous

Don’t lend money to friends – it causes amnesia.
Anonymous

Gentlemen prefer bonds.
Andrew Mellon

Better Than Gold
You’ve got to think about “big things” while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.
Alvin Toffler

Taxes

The difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
Roy Schaefer

April 15th is the day when you get to pay for the government you’ve been complaining about all year long.
Gene Perret

The taxpayer – that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take a civil service exam.
Ronald Reagan

Better Than Gold
Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege, and being known and loved is God’s greatest pleasure.
Rick Warren

Adversity

Losing one glove is sorrow enough, but nothing compared with the pain of losing one glove, discarding the other, then finding the first one again.
Piet Hein

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
Anonymous

Buttered bread always falls dry side up.
Jewish proverb

Better Than Gold

Whatever path you follow, do it as though Gershwin had written music to underscore your every move. Romantic and idealistic, yes. But I cannot think of anything in life worthwhile that was achieved without a great desire to achieve it.
Neil Simon

Opera

Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it.
Hannah More

And now for my next trick. I’m going to make my boyfriend disappear. I say the magic word: opera.
Lea Thompson

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.
Robert Benchley

Better Than Gold
The best decision you’ll ever make is probably one you’ve been putting off.
Charles Foster